Facebook Creeping: The Key To A Better Life

Cole Estes/The Jibsheet
Cole Estes/The Jibsheet

Facebook creeping has revolutionized the way people interact, especially with those who they are not necessarily close with. It allows people a safe, ridicule free environment in which they can find out pretty much anything about anybody, and make things up about themselves as they go along. The opportunities are endless.

In the professional world, employers can screen potential interviewees online beforehand, so if there is any indication of criminal or immoral activity, he or she can nip the problem at the bud. The fun need not stop there however, as perhaps the employer saw that one of his current employees was exhibiting inappropriate behavior at a local bar and happened to be immortalized in the form of an online picture album. Problem solved; no more troublesome employee. God forbid a hotshot recruit for a Boston investment bank is seen on the internet in a New York Yankees hat.

Little children who can’t seem to come to terms with the fact that they aren’t allowed to do grown up things also rejoice, as with a click of the mouse they can become “friends” with people of all age groups, the kind of people interested in precocious children. Luckily their parents have likely been Facebook creeping on them, pondering hefty punishments.

Middle aged people can travel back to a time filled more with wonder and aspiration than mundane day to day matters. Maybe one of them can reconnect with a long lost love. Maybe that person’s internet history can be seen be their significant other, so as to be freed from that oppressive monogamous life partnership.

People with problems coming to terms with a nasty break-up are also in luck. Everybody knows how difficult it can be to stop thinking about the one who previously loved them, or even stopped looking at their pictures. Thanks to Facebook, they never have to. In some cases even if the person in question deleted their previous significant other, he or she can still take a look at their photos. Thanks to this fact, nobody ever actually has to move on.

Those with low self-esteem can take pictures of themselves in a more attractive light; literally. Taking pictures of one’s self in the bathroom can hide all types of physical features. Nobody has to know about body parts that elicit insecurities, and if someone were to creep upon that photo, they might not know what the person featured looks like at all.

That’s totally fine, because thanks to Facebook, nobody is boxed in by the restriction of being their self. This is a great way to accomplish many things such as: start a relationship based on deceit, never leave the confines of your room again, successfully live life without actually having to do anything. It’s the technology age, and most people would rather have proof of doing something to show their friends than the experience itself. There is nothing wrong with that, unless little things like the outside world are important to you.