Goldfish cuisine for dummies


They say dogs are slowly replacing children, and you probably can’t deny that since the creation of dog strollers and dog restaurants. By saying dog restaurants, I don’t mean dog-friendly restaurants, but places that literally serve dog food and dog food only.

When you come to think of it, it’s really unfair to all the other pets out there. It’s not the dogs’ prerogative to enjoy nice food. Non-dog pets should have the equal right to have something other than dry food, too.

So, here they are, recipe ideas for you and your beloved fishy:

Mac and Cheese (Yields 1 serving)


0.3 cup elbow macaroni

0.3 cup milk

0.15 tbsp all-purpose flour

salt and pepper to taste

0.1 tbsp butter

0.05 cup shredded cheddar cheese


  1. Bring a large pot of lightly salted water to a boil. Add pasta and cook for 8 to 10 minutes or until al dente; drain and reserve.
  2. In a microwave-safe bowl, combine milk, flour and salt and pepper to taste; whisk or beat until smooth. Add butter and cheese; microwave on high for 5 minutes and whisk until smooth. Microwave for an additional 4 to 5 minutes and whisk or beat until smooth and no lumps remain.
  3. Add cooked pasta to mixture; stir and serve.

Creme Brulee (Yields 1 serving)


0.15 egg yolk

0.15 tbsp white sugar, divided

0.0125 tsp vanilla extract

0.0625 cups heavy cream

0.05 tbsp brown sugar


  1. Preheat oven to 300 degrees F (150 degrees C).
  2. Beat egg yolks, 0.1 tbsp sugar and vanilla in a mixing bowl until thick and creamy.
  3. Pour cream into a saucepan and stir over low heat until it almost comes to boil. Remove the cream from heat immediately. Stir cream into the egg yolk mixture; beat until combined.
  4. Pour cream mixture into the top of a double boiler. Stir over simmering water until mixture lightly coats the back of a spoon; approximately 3 minutes. Remove mixture fro heat immediately and pour into a shallow heat-proof dish.
  5. Bake in preheated oven for 30 minutes. Remove from oven and cool to room temperature. Refrigerate for 1 hour, or overnight.
  6. Preheat oven to broil.
  7. In a small bowl combine remaining 0.05 tablespoon white sugar and brown sugar. Sift this mixture evenly over custard. Place dish under broiler until sugar melts, about 2 minutes. Watch carefully so as not to burn.
  8. Remove from heat and allow to cool. Refrigerate until custard is set again.