Weekly Geek: Magic The Gathering enchants “Geek Pit”

Scott Bullock Assistant Arts Editor
Scott Bullock Assistant Arts Editor

In a desolate field on the outskirts of the multi-verse, a man steps out onto the dead, cold ground. His booted feet crunching on the grey soil, his black cloak hangs loosely about his form as he walks across the barren plain, and he glances around, taking stalk of his position. Nothing will surprise him today. He must be ready.
As he approaches a large rock outcropping, he sees the outline of a figure garbed in red standing atop the crumbling rocks. Their eyes meet and they nod acknowledging each other’s presence. The duel is about to begin.
Lightning flashes from the hands of the man on the rocks as he draws upon the destructive powers of the mountains, and the unfathomable forces of nature they contain.
The blue-white bolt slams into the shoulder of the black-garbed man, throwing him back. Slowly, he gets back to his feet; it will take more than a simple Lightning Bolt to take him down. Pulling the power of decay, damnation, and death from the fetid swamps, he spins a web of black magic, shimmering and shivering, eventually coalescing into a hunched, slender figure, blood dripping from its teeth…
“I play Pulse Tracker,” I say, as I set the blue-sleeved card onto the table.The art on the card depicts a pale, hungry vampire.
“Sonofabitch. God-damn Pulse Tracker,” my opponent vehemently snarls.
You see us often, lingering around the circular tables down in the lounge by the cafe. You see us hunched over like conspirators staring intently downwards. And if you manage a glance through the wall of bodies you see the cards. The little colored rectangles, decorated with visions of fantastic landscapes and creatures, coat the surface of the table.
You may even watch for a moment as we draw, play, rotate, flip, and move them in what seems to be an intricate and incomprehensible dance of cards, hands, and dice. And because you see us there, day in and day out, you have given our tables the colloquial name, “The Geek Pit.”
Many more people have played Magic: The Gathering than would admit, and most of them still have their cards. When they see us playing, some of them even would like to join in on the fun. I know, I was one of those people.
But I assumed that these games were between people who really knew what they were doing, who had vast collections of pricy cards, and were some sort of MTG deities who were not to be disturbed by mere mortals like I.
But one day, I sat down and played a game and got my ass royally handed to me.  I got better, however,  and I have been hanging out there between classes ever since.
Here’s something you likely don’t know: we in the Geek Pit are members of a not-at-all-elite club known as the Magic Club. The club has about 50 members and is looking to become an official program with funding for tournaments, snazzy card sleeves, and seats made out of the finest platinum.
A special note for the interested ladies out there,we currently have two women who hang out in the Geek Pit, but I would still label the place a total sausage fest. Please, even out our ratio and come hang out there.