On March 31, a Daily Mail expose revealed a series of images. They showed Special Envoy for the Shield of the Americas, Kristi Noem’s husband scantily clad in women’s clothing, engaging in a fetish known as bimbofication (the process of transforming into a hyper-feminine and sexually exaggerated persona), as well as explicit chats with sex workers.
On the outside, the Noems played the role of a conservative God-fearing family perfectly, and Byron Noem was no exception, devoted to God, his three kids and wife.
Kristi built her platform on these conservative values revolving around faith, family, and loyalty. Her children often appeared in her campaign ads, displaying a picturesque southern ranch family in the heart of South Dakota.
On the inside however, it was a very different story, threatening the foundation that Kristi had built her entire campaign on. Her husband, the man she lovingly wrote about in a 2019 blog post who “loves the Lord and understands the responsibility that God gives to men to lead their families”, was participating in cross-dressing and many associated fetish activities. This is very hypocritical considering Kristi’s ruthless “faith first” campaign against transgender individuals and people with different identities.
However, it’s obvious that they are more aware than they let on. They understand that their own politics are, by nature, hypocritical through the exposure of Byron Noem’s double life and the willful ignorance that followed.
Image is everything. The Noem family had been working tirelessly to push a conservative rhetoric and present the image of an ideal American family. After all, one of the best ways to make people believe in an ideology is to perform it and demonstrate that it leads to success and happiness. So, they supposedly proved that their proposed life ideology is not only the best but also entirely feasible and fulfilling.
In the efforts to curate that “perfect” image, people began to listen to what they said as they perceived their identity and ideals as shared with the Noems.
The Noems’ choice to hold back and practice this self restraint for the sake of preserving the traditionalist straight-laced family structure painted them in a pious light, so their followers viewed them as good people because of their evident self control. Self restraint and discipline is the foundation of conservatism. It promises community and connection but only by sacrificing the freedom of living according to individual choices. Their actions become excused and acceptable because they were recognized as good people who don’t give in to their base desires.
They were attempting to prove that campaigns like Kristi Noem’s aggressive manhunt against immigrants through the deployment of federal law enforcement into cities were allegedly meant to benefit the common people, not to fulfill selfish interests (A meek cover-up in the face of the harsh brutalization faced by innocent people when their homes and neighborhoods were turned into ground zero for “supposed criminals”). But in reality, that self-restraint is the most selfish and hypocritical of all, because while the Noems do it performatively, their followers take it as an authentic pathway.
Although Byron Noem’s secret fantasy was consensual and did not harm anyone (except his wife’s trust and reputation), it feels more and more like the wealthy elite are the biggest customers of sex workers, and disturbingly, sex trafficking and exploitation. Byron’s actions serve to further expose a fundamental flaw within the hyper conservative media sphere, in which accusations are often admissions.
The angry campaigns reveal a deep-rooted frustration against communities that looked different from the Noems on the outside. Each sermon against people with different identities was being twisted into an angry rant due to their own frustration with their identity.
The irony is even further proved when it was revealed that Byron Noem’s activities were exposed by a potentially undocumented sex worker. Axios reporter Marc Caputo received the tip off from a source who wished to remain anonymous. He promised to protect that person’s identity, but revealed that the tipster was “an immigrant, possibly unlawfully in the country, who wanted vengeance”.
There is often a hypocrisy that comes with the kind of hate speech observed in the Noems’ lobby. Hate is most deeply felt when combined with blame for personal and lived experiences.
Outside of the political and familial ramifications, Byron Noem revealed the truth behind what lies within his wife’s campaigns. The Noem’s private hypocrisy fuels their public hate. When what she hates the most has publicly made a home in her family, what will Kristi Noem do next?
