In honor of Valentine’s Day coming up in a few days, it seemed that it would be good to talk a little bit about the birds and the bees. However, since this is college, it’s assumed that most students have some experience or already know the subject of sexual intercourse well. If so, then pay attention because this is still important to review, especially if you are looking forward to some special one on one time with a significant other or partner this upcoming holiday.
No matter who it is, whether it is someone you just met at a party or a longtime lover, always ask for consent when it comes to sex. It is not that hard. What is consent? It is simply asking a partner whether they want to have sex or not. Asking for consent not only shows that respect for the person, but it demonstrates good communication skills.
Sex is one of the most vulnerable and intimate things humans can physically do with each other. It is so important to ask a sexual partner, every time, for consent. It keeps both parties comfortable and safe. If the answer is “yes,” then continue on with your little two person party. If the answer is not clear or is hesitant, do not continue or follow through. Do not make somebody uncomfortable and possibly put them in a harmful situation. If the answer is “no,” stop right there. If the answer is “no” or if consent is not asked for, it is rape or sexual assault.
If your partner says no or is hesitant, do not push them over and over again until they give in and say yes. That is still considered rape because the option to say no isn’t being allowed. Sex is between two people, and both people should feel safe, happy and pleasurable.
If both individuals have given the green light with consent, keep in mind to check in during the intercourse. If they look uncomfortable, in pain or not into it, just ask them. Communication is key. Again, it is important that both parties are game and enjoying themselves. Sex is a two person thing.
Quick note for virgins out there looking for some action this year, ask the question, “Am I ready for sex?” If the answer is yes or probably, ask yourself why. Have you and your partner discussed intercourse before and know that both parties are okay with? Could you go to a store and buy a box of condoms? Are you willing to take it slow, listen to your partner and use consent? If the answer to all three questions were a solid yes, then please proceed. If not, then wait. There is no rush to have sex and there is plenty of time. People are ready at different times in their life and that is totally okay.
For more information on sex and everything related to sex, I highly recommend checking out Laci Green, a sex education activist on Youtube. She can provide anybody with more answers to sex questions than any high school health class can.