Vladimir Putin is my hero

Vladimir Vladimirovich Putin, the current president of Russia, is appealing to me because if I had no moral restrictions, looked like a James Bond supervillain and had the power to hold a significant presence in the modern world, I would probably run my country and rule my domain much like him.
As a young adult, Putin idolized foreign intelligence officers and was wondering which school he should apply to in order to determine his career. He approached the KGB, now known as the FSB, commonly recognized as Russia’s spy network, and asked what he needed to do to become an agent. The KGB told Putin which schools to enlist in, and he graduated from Leningrad State University in 1975, earning a degree in international law.
Putin may look like a wimp with his lanky build and receding hairline, but fighting him would be no joke. In school, Putin practiced the martial arts of sambo and judo very competitively and has since mastered many others. Putin even received a 9th dan black belt in taekwondo last fall, surpassing even Chuck Norris in proficiency of the martial art. Even if his heavily armed bodyguards are not present to protect him, Putin would have no trouble in disposing of hostile opponents.
Not only is Putin capable of getting whatever he wants through force or with an intimidating phone call, but he is also great at keeping his wallet thick. During March of last year, the small Mediterranean island of Cyprus announced a bailout for decreasing the country’s declining credit rating. The island government decided that freezing the funds of its second-largest bank, the Cyprus Popular Bank, would help them recover from their financial crisis.
Cyprus is known as a major host of anonymous offshore bank transactions which makes for a perfect location to launder illegally acquired funds. The day after the bank’s funds were frozen, over half of the members of the Russian parliament failed to show up to their regular meeting, presumably because they could not afford the limousine. With about a third of the country’s economy sustained by black market transactions, Putin knows how to keep his money safe by keeping it in one of the safest places in the world: the Bank of the Vatican.
Putin is probably the richest man in the world right now,  but he just cannot legally declare it to the world. In order to keep his money safe, he needs to make sure nobody can see his funds and transactions. By keeping his money in the Bank of the Vatican, Putin has an almost untouchable bank account. Under no circumstances can the account be disclosed, not even to the Pope.
Putin lives amongst copious spying and corruption with ease and opulence. He has many items of luxury such as extravagant palaces, watch collections worth hundreds of thousands of dollars and even a toilet worth over $50,000. Robert Kraft, the owner of the New England Patriots, visited Russia last year and showed his 2005 Super Bowl Championship ring to the Russian president. Putin took the ring and, according to Kraft, said, “I can kill someone with this ring,” before walking behind a wall of KGB agents.  He then showed up at a press conference, and claimed the ring was a “souvenir.” Then Putin offered to make a replacement. Putin took his foothold in Crimea, traded billions of dollars worth of arms with Egypt this year, and last week, he visited Cuba to restore an old Soviet radio station in order to broadcast to the United States.
Putin’s publicity is a great source of amusement as well. Videos of Putin’s deeds are littered around the internet including ones of him dozing off during heated political debates and randomly kissing kids’ stomachs. With his reputation of being a shrewd man at the top of Russia’s economic food chain, some attempts at improving Putin’s image come out quite quaint. Last September, Putin dressed up as a crane and lead an endangered species migration on a motorized hang glider.He refused to wear the beak.
With his unique approach to lavishness and cruelty, I feel that Putin is a great 21st-century bandit gentlemen. His combination of economic abuse, hostile takeover, and intimidating charm makes him a bad man worthy of admiration.