SHAMWOW: The dangers of the homeshopping network

Zebra Snuggie (SOURCE:
Zebra Snuggie (SOURCE:

You are sitting on your couch chowing down on Chipotle, and all of a sudden, an infomercial comes on. Bright colors flash across the screen.
A man with a booming voice says, “BUY THIS OR DIE”. A confused look wipes across your face as you attempt to take in what you just saw.
You start to get sleepy and think, “a Cuddlee Pet pillow would come in handy right now.”
You haven’t entered the twilight zone. This phenomena is called the home shopping network.
Home shopping networks have been around for years, but lately they have been getting more than enough publicity.
Before, these networks were favored by grandmas who had a soft spot for embroidered unicorn sweaters.
Today, everyone is fair game. It could be your best friend who recently purchased a zebra Snuggie or your Environmental Science teacher who just bought the deluxe Shake Weight.
This has become an epidemic.
The purpose of these networks and commercials is to provoke you to buy overpriced items you don’t need for free shipping and handling fees.
We are a nation that strives on convenience. Of course, we want a jumpsuit with a butt flap in the back.
It’s even a bonus that it is called Forever Lazy.They hook us in with ridiculous commercials that parallel Spanish telenovelas and “buy one, get three free” deals. Low prices and outrageous bargains are all part of the American dream.
Yet we never read the fine print. We neglect the three payments of $54.99 and the “But wait there’s more. If you order now, your social life will spiral into a black hole as your money follows it.”
One of the most popular products as seen on television right now are Pajama Jeans.
According to the brand, Pajama Jeans are “where style meets comfort.” This statement is incorrect. It is where you, the consumer, hit rock bottom.
Every product’s main characteristic is that it makes life easier.
If you couldn’t fit into your jeans before, you shouldn’t think that wearing spandex pants is going to make you skinnier.
If you thought the idea of lifting weights is ridiculous, consider the way you will look with a vibrating shake weight in your hand.
If hitting the gym was too demanding, you can say goodbye to it. The Tower 200 (workout equipment that only needs a door for assembly) “if you gotta door, you gotta gym”.
These products are telling you to give into your inner sloth, to forget the days when manual label was needed.
People are always changing, and with them so is technology. Of course life is supposed to become easier with all the gadgets we have today, but fully depending on them makes us forget a world without them.
You can use the Perefect Situp, the Thigh Thinner, or just buy the flamingo toilet seat for 35% off. Regardless of what you buy, think before you CALL NOW.

Forver Lazy Infomercial