David Beckham: soccer-playing, hair-styling, underwear-strutting Englishman. Posh Spice (aka Victoria): former Spice Girl mostly in the tabloids for her wardrobe selections. Enrique Iglesias and Anna Kournikova. John McEnroe and Tatum O’Neal. Andy Roddick and Mandy Moore—ahem—I mean, Brooklyn Decker. These names all fall into one category called “Jock-Cheerleader Relationships.”
Of course, other people have called it more obvious titles like “Celeb-Athlete Relationships” or “Moneymaker-TotalFaker”—which can really be either party in the relationship—but I prefer to compare these incidents of attraction with a high-school football quarterback and a very naïve high-school cheerleader.
In some cases, this analogy ceases to be an abstract representation and is transformed into an actual reality, applying to both titles of “Pigskin-Pompom” and Celeb-Athlete. My case in point would rest solely on the broad shoulders of Tony Romo and his former flame, Jessica Simpson. The picture-perfect couple captured the attention of virtually every paparazzi, sports news site, gossip magazine and country music station in the United States when they began sashaying around large cities to dinner, hand-in-hand.
Whether it was a brilliant publicity stunt or head-over-heels infatuation, Jessica was certainly basking in the attention of it all, most-notably by attending all the Dallas Cowboys football games, decked out in fan-garb while shouting and cheering for her dearly beloved’s team. If this doesn’t sound like true love, then I don’t know what does! Ew. Apparently the songbird’s eager chants weren’t cutting it for Tony, who broke up with Jessica on the night of her 29th birthday, citing career opportunities and professional obligations as the primary factor. Hmm…good excuse!
It’s not just a quarterback-singer epidemic either, but also has transcended all forms of stardom imaginable. Hello, entire Kardashian clan along with Reggie Bush, Lamar Odom, Miles Austin and Cristiano Ronaldo! And what about those NY Yankees such as womanizers Derek Jeter and Alex Rodriguez? They’ve struck out with Hollywood too many times to count. But it’s essential to mention Tiger Woods and model-ex-wife Elin Nordegren’s tumultuously destructive marriage that crumbled before our own eyes after Thanksgiving in 2009.
Not to fear though! Some relationships between the turf and red carpet don’t always end up in a loss. Although extremely rare and difficult to find, these few power couples have remained true to their proclaimed devotion to each other. Tennis icon Pete Sampras and former Miss Teen USA’s Bridgette Wilson have been married since September 2000, and just celebrated their 10-year anniversary a week ago. Hockey legend Wayne Gretzky and dancer/actress Janet Jones have been committed to each other since 1988.
In today’s society, spotting a winning partner in the game of life seems to be harder than splitting the atom of a molecule. One solution to this widespread problem is to keep the Kardashian girls away from ALL male sporting events. If this doesn’t work, the other option is to ban actresses and models from mingling with professional athletes…Problem solved.