We are born and one day we die. Sounds simple enough until one day someone says, “WAIT NO YOU DON’T!”
I first noticed this whenever people would talk about Elvis.
Of course, Elvis is dead, but people still say ridiculous stuff about him. Stuff like, “he’s not dead he’s eating at the back of some KFC” or “he’s not dead he’s traveling the country.”
SERIOUSLY!
Every time someone uttered this nonsense I just walked away hoping that that would be the end of it.
I was wrong.
NOTORIOUS B.I.G
Biggie has been spotted eating at Roscoe’s, throwing one’s at clubs, releasing new songs and playing himself in his biopic.
Possible new release:
“I was ready to die, but instead I went into hiding”
TUPAC
The west coast bad boy is known for still prowling the streets.
Some think he has become a big time rapper in Africa. Others think he was reincarnated as Ja Rule. I don’t know about that one. But, don’t let the rapper fool you. He dabbled in writing, and wrote a movie script before he passed away.
MTV has just started casting for it.
Possible new release:
“Above the Coffin”
MICHAEL JACKSON
The death of Michael hit me hard. While I was growing up, his music and his troubled life filled the media.
With all the drama in his life, I was hoping that at least his death would be drama free.
WRONG.
People are saying he froze himself, plotted it himself, was murdered, or is living in disguise. It’s all too much.
Possible new release:
“Zombie Nature”
Yet, we never hear about the whereabouts of other dead celebs.
PATRICK SWAYZE:
He could be visiting schools to teach them dirty dancing.
KIRT COBAIN:
Is still the reason why flannel and long hair just work. You can see him at your local value village in Aberdeen.
ANA NICOLE SMITH:
Is dressing like Marilyn Monroe in Hollywood. If you pay her a dollar, she might take a picture with you.
I think after being in the spotlight for so long it is time to let them rest.
HEATH LEDGER:
I highly doubt that you will catch Ledger in the woods looking for Brokeback Mountain.
Instead, you should check in vintage stores.
Where else does he find his treads for Halloween? He’s the joker every year.
I’m just wondering what well will do when Justin Bieber can’t belt another note or when Miley Cyrus starts wearning clothes.
Will it be as horrific as 2012?
Only time will tell.
Hopefully we won’t be obessed with keeping the dead alive
So let their spirits-not their bodies live, Jibbers.
I dated a woman in my late teens who had a brother-in-law that did everything to talk, look, drink, and pop pills like Elvis.
He wasn’t as successful as Elvis though…he worked at McDonald’s as an assistant manager making 1,400 bucks a month making sure your order was properly bagged, and the service was swift.